“Lest My Death Become Routine”

Addressing Violence Against Women Through Dramatherapy

Prof. Susana Pendzik, Dr. Nurit Roness-Raushbach, Dr. Dovrat Harel, Meira Medina-Junge

After my death, eulogize me thus:

Once there was a woman,

And behold - Now she is but a shadow.

After my death,

Do not remain silent anymore.

Rise and cry out loudly,

Lest my death becomes routine.

Iris Eliya Cohen from the poem: "Murder by Consent."

Dramatherapy is a form of psychotherapy that uses creative processes for therapeutic purposes. In these days, when the sounds of war, the demands for the return of hostages, cries, and mourning are heard all around, there are still voices silenced in the public sphere. Women are allowed to express their grief in eulogizing their children, partners, or parents, but are they permitted to cry out their pain in their daily battles waged within their own homes—battles that began long before the dark Shabbat of October 7th, 2023?

Since the terror attack on October 7th, Israeli society has experienced a collective trauma not seen since the Holocaust. The loss of control, the feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and intense emotions accompanying us since then raise questions about our personal and national security. The entire nation was shocked by the brutal kidnapping, assault, torture, rape, and murder of women in their sanctuaries—their homes—in front of their children. Yet, as we know and, as some of us experience daily, facing violence is a reality for many women, not necessarily due to nationalist motives.

Photo - Susanna Pendzik

For many years, the issue of violence against women was swept under the rug. Despite its horrific impact on the lives of countless women and their children, the tendency to minimize its significance turned it into a constant ghostly presence. Even in the MeToo era, sexual assault and other forms of violence against women have not disappeared; on the contrary, they have intensified, crossing boundaries of religion, nationality, education, and socioeconomic status. Now, in light of the events of October 7th, the collective trauma often intersects with personal trauma with full force. Even in therapy rooms, we find there is often no escape or savior.

A., an eight-year-old girl, has witnessed years of abusive and violent interactions between her father and mother. In therapy, she rarely speaks, using instead a variety of art materials to create representations of her home. She consistently omits her parents' bedroom and later hides her works in the corners of the therapy room. As a child exposed to domestic violence, A. experiences trauma characterized by heightened tension, vigilance, and a sense of insecurity, which she often expressed by saying: "Something's about to happen..."

The external reality, where women were brutally murdered on October 7th, resonates with A.'s internal reality. With increased tension in the past weeks, she frequently wails and cries. The dramatherapist suggests she build her own house in the room, using cushions, fabrics, and chairs. A. replies, “I’m going to build myself a shelter.” Since the war began, for three weeks, A. has come to the therapy room, built her "shelter," and entered it. The therapist complies with her requests, whether by talking to her, offering her a glass of water, or playing a game with her while she remains inside the shelter. A. enjoys having a space entirely her own, where she feels safe from her parents’ "sirens." At the end of the session, the therapist and A. calmly and orderly fold the fabrics and return the cushions and chairs to their place. A. was referred to therapy by welfare services before the war, and her parents report that her crying has decreased, and she appears more relaxed.

Photo Meira Medina-Junge

The shocking massacre has affected all of us. Even those not directly harmed experience social, communal, and national wounds (family, work, economy). Many of us exhibit symptoms of secondary trauma—a phenomenon arising from massive exposure to survivors' life stories, including disturbing descriptions of traumatic and brutal events. For women who have experienced violence, signs of reactivated trauma are evident: the massacre and war have reopened old wounds, echoing similar situations. On a psychological level, symptoms tied to past traumatic experiences may resurface in situations that remind them of those experiences. Just like a soldier with combat trauma reacts to situations that recreate the experience as if it were happening again, women who have experienced violence face the memory of the trauma as an indelible part of their psyche.

As a dramatherapist, I encounter young women who struggle daily with the question of their right to express their pain and anger at the harm they have endured throughout their lives, and still continue to face. Sometimes, when they dare to speak out, they are silenced by a society that does not believe them or their stories. Just this week, I met with K., a youth who was raped two years ago. She told me how she "consented" to her boyfriend’s requests to have sex, fearing he would leave her if she refused. She described how she froze during intercourse. More than the pain of her boyfriend leaving her immediately after he got his way, she was hurt by the disbelief in her story. Sitting before me, she wanted desperately to be angry at the staff who doubted and questioned the truth of her account but could not express it.

Dramatherapy can provide a "pretend" space that is subject to different rules of time, space, and consciousness. Those who cannot express difficult emotions in everyday reality can try to do so in “dramatic reality”, which acts as a living laboratory where they can rehearse actions that are difficult to perform in real life.  In K's case, after several attempts, the therapist suggested that she play the role of K's voice. Sitting next to her, K spoke the words, and the therapist repeated them guided by K, adding the emotion and intensity according to K’s instructions. By the end of the session, K said she felt freer, but most importantly, she acknowledged her right to be angry and to express her pain. Typically, women’s socialization does not include training or skills for expressing anger assertively. Therefore, the role model provided by the dramatherapist can serve as an example for the young woman and help her develop effective and constructive channels for expressing anger in the future.

Photo – Nurit Rones Rauschbach

Violence against women is a pervasive issue that affects women across their lifetimes. They face a wide range of abuses, including physical, psychological, economic, and sexual violence, even as they age. The challenges of aging can expand the circle of potential abusers. Older women, for instance, may experience violence from paid caregivers. Those living in care facilities, reliant on numerous caregivers, are also at risk of various forms of violence. Dependency dynamics with grown children can lead to economic exploitation; and even in old age, women are primarily harmed by abusive partners.

N, age 71, described in detail the prolonged abuse by her husband, including severe physical and sexual violence since their wedding night. She had attempted to leave the house several times but always returned in response to his pleas. I asked N. to describe her experience with an image: "I am like a puppet on strings; he can do whatever he wants with me," she said. Using creative materials, N. crafted a puppet on strings, but this time, she was the creator and operator of her imaginary counterpart. Working with image, we explored together the puppet’s internal mechanisms, representing her own strengths. This process was accompanied by wonder and excitement at the discovery. Toward the end of the process, N. cut the puppet's strings—a symbolic act representing her ability to act independently and autonomously.

Older women face an "intersection" of two axes of social discrimination—sexism and ageism. This is evident in the underreporting of violence against elderly women and their reluctance to seek help. A study by the Department of Gerontology at the University of Haifa revealed a dialectic of silence and silencing regarding this phenomenon, characterizing both the affected elderly women and the professionals assisting them. This dynamic stems from societal constructs that portray older women as asexual. Additional barriers are tied to the lack of suitable language for articulating these women's experiences and the difficulty in expressing them verbally.

Dramatherapy offers older women who have experienced violence a means of expression beyond verbal communication that bypasses these barriers. Using images, metaphors, movement, storytelling, play, and similar tools, opens up new pathways for women to confront and process their repressed experiences in a safe space. Moreover, the creative process itself highlights their ability to continue growing despite deep and prolonged oppression, helping to create a new narrative based on strengths and the capacity for transformation and healing, even at an advanced age.

Photo from the video shown at the Public Hearing No. 3 of the Tribunal for Gender Crimes in collaboration with the Theatre Department of the Hebrew University, 2022

The terrorist attack of October 7 has opened the door to a necessary and meaningful public discourse that brings the issue of violence against women to the forefront. Many awareness-raising and educational campaigns are being launched in the wake of 25 November (International Day Against Violence Against Women). Research in the field indicates that violence against women reflects a deeply rooted perception of fundamental inequality toward women, and that public recognition is essential to addressing the problem. On this level as well, the arts, especially theater, serve as a social tool that can provide aesthetic and public recognition of the issue, thereby helping women process their experiences psychologically. One example is the 2022 collaboration between the Hebrew University's Theater Department and the Tribunal for Gender Crimes. The Tribunal is an innovative project that addresses all types of gender crimes (including those that are not defined as "crimes" under criminal law) against affected/survivor women, their families and communities (https://www.tribunal.org.il/ ). The initiative grew from over 30 years of field and academic experience, supporting survivors in crisis centers, training professionals in gender-sensitive care, and studying alternative justice processes. Unlike the criminal court, justice-seekers can, if they wish, turn to actors or actresses to present evidence and tell their stories. The project reported here involved students in a "therapeutic theatre" course, culminating in a performance at a public hearing of the Tribunal. Public hearings are one of the Tribunal's alternative channels for "justice seekers" to receive public recognition and validation for the harm they have experienced. The Tribunal contacted the course facilitators with a justice-seeker who was willing to share personal texts related to the complex trauma she had experienced. Throughout the course, meetings, correspondence, and discussions took place between the course participants and the justice-seeker, whose texts were sensitively interpreted and served as inspiration for further resonant work by the group. The performance bridged the woman's personal story with the experiences of the students and the entire audience. This artistic connection allowed each participant to express their perspective while hearing the voices of others.

The therapeutic power of theater, and the arts in general, lies in their ability to enable reflection and aesthetic distancing from complex, painful, and even traumatic experiences, such as instances of violence. Artistic processing operates on a personal level by inviting action, restoring a sense of control and ownership over our lives while simultaneously engaging public testimony, amplifying the creation within society as a whole, and bringing the silenced voice to the forefront.

A shorter version of the article was published in Haaretz newspaper on February 7, 2024

Upper image is a drawing by David Nestel, Pencil on Canvas photo by Susana Peznik